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Friday, 13 February 2015

New year, new start. (Yes I know I am a month late!)

Hey there! Well it's been absolutely ages since I have written anything on this blog, so I have decided to start doing it again and doing it regularly. Mainly because people have been asking me to and also because it is probably good therapy for myself.
So, what have I been up to? Well, nothing much. I have unfortunately not found a magical cure for my paralysis, nor have I won the lottery. My wonderful kiwi carer had to go back to Zealand because her visa ran out and apparently you can only get it once in your lifetime unless you happen to be on the skills shortage list, (such as an engineer) , you have ancestry, (your parents or grandparents are British), you are married to a British person or somebody with British ancestry or I believe you can buy your way in. (A sponsor). As she had none of these, she had to go back to the beautiful country of New Zealand. Which was devastating for me and her. So now I have nobody here to come up with practical jokes to torment my visitors with. (Seriously, it is absolutely amazing how gullible some people are, lol.)  And also because she really help improve my quality of life by encouraging me to get out and enjoy myself, I know people do this too, but I felt really safe with her as my carer to look after me. Whilst I was out. I have also gained yet another feline member of my household, this one could be described as quite moody and probably evil. I have also most definitely gained a few  lbs, as I have rediscovered my fondness for pizza. (Margarita, yum!)

Generally I have not been up to much. Mainly because of my anxiety and depression. I am too worried to go outside and do things. I panic that something might happen and that I might get hurt. This does not help when other people who are out and about, walk into my chair and it is either quite painful, or I am fearful that I am going to be knocked out of my chair, which has nearly happened a few times. I really don't understand how people can't see me, it's not like I am invisible or something. And the worst thing is, is that they don't even apologise to me. They will either ignore the fact they have almost knocked my chair over or they will apologise to my carers. (Which I guess it's better than nothing). This is just one of the many things that cause me to be anxious when I leave my home. I have not left my house in about six months. I know this isn't good, and I have probably made my anxiety and depression worse, By staying in and not trying to fight it. I hope some of you will continue to read my blog as I carry on learning to cope with my disability and try and fight my anxiety and depression. I'm sorry this post was pretty rubbish. I will try and do better with my other posts!

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