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Sunday, 11 December 2011

one day in my shoes ...

I get angry and upset sometimes so I thought I would get my feeling down in this post. This post is me venting some frustration. Frustration at those who decided not to be my friend once I became ill, those who don't bother with me and avoid me as much as possible and of course those who sit there in offices making decisions to cut my therapy and care down.

I know you people don't have to live with the consequences of your actions. But I do. I have to learn to cope with reduced care and therapy.I have to learn to cope with the pain and stiffness that reduced therapy results in. Yes, I know there are many people who are worse off by myself and I appreciate that, but you have the opportunity to make somebody's life better and you have decided against it. I don't think you realise how much your decisions impact on my life.

And those of you who have decided not to be my friend because of my condition or have decided to spend as little time as possible with me. How do you think makes me feel? It makes me think of the L'Oreal advert except it would be,' because I'm worthless.' When something like what has happened to me happens to a person it is really helpful to get all the support possible. Obviously, some people think they are too good to spend time with a disabled person.

So, I challenge you how would you like to spend one day in my position? Picture this, you cannot move from the neck down. You need help to get out of bed, to get washed to go the toilet and eat. If you are in discomfort because of your position you can't fix yourself. You need help to do so. If you have an itch, sore eyes or a runny nose you can't sort yourself out you need to ask for help to make yourself more comfortable. I bet you never thought about what it's like to be in my position. I guess I never did until it happened to me either. Just think of though, it is not just me in a situation like this there are many people. If you have the opportunity to help somebody less well off than yourself then do so. I know there are many people worse off than me so I will aim to help them if at all possible.

To be honest, there is no point in me writing this really. Because the people I am angry at not going to bother reading this. I have had amazing support of my friends carers and family. People probably don't realise how much their support has helped me. I may not see some people, but I know they are not avoiding me. I hope people don't feel guilty for not meeting up with me you are not the people who I am angry at. I may not have have seen you in person for weeks but we may have had a conversation via Facebook or something and that means a lot to me. And also to the people reading this who don't know me at all. Are there people in your life do you know who you can give support to? I am sure there is. There is somebody that everybody can help I am sure.

So, as I was saying, one day in my shoes, that is all I ask ...

8 comments:

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  2. Emily, if you're paralyzed from the neck down.. how did you write this blogpost? :c

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  3. there is a program that I've got on my computer called Dragon. It is voice-activated, so it types out what I say. X

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  4. Emily, I hope my words find a nice place with you. Understand that some of your friends that no longer spend time with you may not be as well as you think. In other words, they may look and seem fine on the outside, but they may be struggling on the inside, unable to deal with the situation, not smart enough to think of all these things, or maybe just very self centered, the list goes on and on, but many people struggle with many things, even if they seem to be in better health than you at this current time, they may not have a clue about how you feel, or what they could do to help, which all points to a lack on their part.

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  5. Hi Emily! This is your new friend from South Carolina, USA. I found your blog through a series of blogs, actually. I think it was Nie Nie's blog, where I went to Heather's blog, Paralyzed with Joy, and she linked to Chrissy's blog, and I read a comment you left on Chrissy's blog. I think, in your comment, you said you hoped that one day your blog would be as popular as hers. Well ..... guess what??? You are popular now, as far as I am concerned, because I found your blog through them.

    Your story is heartbreaking to me. I am so sorry that you struggle with depression and, well .... just everything. I wish I had words to express what I feel for you. I cannot even imagine what you are going through, but from your words, I DO have hope and BELIEF that you will stand and perhaps walk again. If it happened in those initial months, I don't see how it can't happen again, with the right therapy. I pray and hope that you get it. Just know that I am here thinking of you. Your words move me. You are a fighter. You are a good and worthy person, who deserves the chance to get good therapy. I pray this is in your future. I will continue to follow your blog, and send others to it. You have support on this side of the big lake, that is for sure. I wish you all the best. Chin up - keep fighting. You are an amazing person.

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  6. Hi Emily, I finally got Christmas vacation from my school so have more time to read your blog.

    You are brave and one thing I am glad of is you have a blog so people can learn about what being paralyzed is like.

    I hope writing and getting to know people will help some with your depression. Also if you want to you can email me anytime through my profile :)

    hugs ♥

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  7. You're a sweetie. How is your book going? I admire you.

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  8. Emily, I agree wholeheartedly with justme. You are a fighter! Don't let those "friends" get to you. Maybe they are not sure what to say or what to do. But hopefully, one day they will come around and realize how their decisions affect you. This goes the same for those bureaucrats. I hope you get the care and equipment that you need!

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